I was having a hard time deciding if I wanted my blog to only be a beauty blog or also about my life. Beauty is great, but I feel like there is greater beauty in the mess of life. We all experience the mess and chaos of life and that's what makes people interesting and beautiful. Below is a list of how I was being treated by someone for the past year. It may or may not be a mistake to share them, but they have sculpted me into the woman that i am now. I believe that this may help someone else stand up against a bully and get out of a unhealthy relationship.
- Manipulated and made to feel that I am always wrong
- Ignored and treated like a burden and invaluable
- Unfair fights stemming from jealousy
- Bullied for my voice. God gave me this voice! It's mine and i will use it to encourage people.
- Controlled: I can be creative again and laugh. I forgot that i am funny! some of the "stupid" things i say i would say over and over again if it puts a smile on someones face.
- Abused: I can go out and have a cocktail without worrying about the person i am with becoming an embarrassing-abusive-drunk
It is beautiful to no longer feel the above things. Once i wrote them down its like "what the hell was i thinking?" If i had only listened to my friends and family every time they spoke such loving and encouraging things to me about how i should be treated with kindness. Friends cried to me that the guy i was with didn't appreciate me and it was breaking THEIR hearts seeing me treated so carelessly. I strongly believe that God did put him in my life for a reason and it wasn't so much for the dude to get his life together, but for God to show me how He would never dare treat me. I am the most imperfect person in the world, but never in my wildest dreams would i be anything other than real, honest, kind, and grace giving. Writing this may or may not be a mistake, but if you are going through a terrible relationship that leads you to cry everyday or if the thought crosses your mind that there is something wrong with you, BAIL!!!! Jump that ship!!! I can admit that everyone has faults, i have huge ones, but i also am not afraid to look at them and work on it. If the person you are with feels entitled to treat you terrible and flip things on you, so you feel like everything is your fault; you need to leave now!
What I have learned about HOW SOMEONE SHOULD TREAT YOU:
- You are INVALUABLE… That means that you are so valuable that there is no price that can be placed on you
- You are worthy of being LOVED…. you should be loved with a love that has no strings attached.
- You are worthy of GRACE & FORGIVENESS… Grace is unmerited, divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification. It is not earned. Parents give children grace because they know they are not perfect, yet love them despite of it.
- You are PERFECTLY-IMPERFECT… we are all getting through this life together and perfection isn't ever going to be attainable. You are worthy of having someone meet you where you are at. I love that i am an over sharer because it means the stupid stuff i have gone through wasn't in vain if i can help one person.
- You are worthy of HELP… We are not in this life alone. We are hear to hold each others hands and wipe away tears. We are to build each other up, not tear each other down.
- You are WONDERFUL… You are wonderfully made by God. Your personality and taste was perfectly selected by God for you. Own it. Claim it. Don't let anyone make you feel small.
- You have a PURPOSE… You are here for a reason!!! The people around you should push and encourage you to follow your dreams. Dreams are goals. Write them down. Work on them. The people in your life should not cause you to stumble, but help you stand.
- You are STRONG… You are made strong through God. We are weak on our own but God makes us strong because its God, He is huge. Do not let anyone make you feel weak.
- You are BEAUTIFUL… Your body is the one body you are given and you can chose to love and care for it or not. The person you are in a relationship with should give you the peace of mind and a feeling that you are the most beautiful person to them.
- You are VICTORIOUS… You can over come anything! I promise! sometimes it will be a season that feels like it will last for ever and that the heartache won't end. I promise it does.
I probably have missed a few things, but these are great reminders of how awesome you are! You are not perfect and neither am I, but we each should be treated with love and respect! I love each and everyone of you and hope that this brightens your day a bit!!!